Breastfeeding lessons from cows, take two

Posted by on Aug 31, 2011 in Funny, Pregnancy | 18 comments

This post is an addendum to one of my favorite posts from the last year, Life lessons in pregnancy and breastfeeding from cows.

5AM this morning:

Me: “Dominic!!”

Mike: “What’s he doing?”

Me: “He’s latching on repeatedly, sucking nicely once or twice, then tossing his head from side to side before yanking backwards – still holding on, mind you – until my nipple finally pops out of his mouth. Then he opens his eyes wide in panic and lunges forward like a small, desperate, vacuum cleaner until he finds it again.”

Mike: “Do you want me to tell you what the cows on the farm did when the calves did that?”

Me: “Yes!” (After all, you can’t go past a good cow story at 5AM after you’ve had a grand total of 4 hours sleep that night)

Mike: “Well the calves would nudge under their mothers and do exactly that – yank down on their teats really hard. Or their other favorite trick was to throw their heads up hard and headbutt the mama in the stomach.”

Me: “So what did the mama cows do?”

Mike: “They kicked the calves.”

Me: “Really!”

Mike: “Yup, they’d haul off and give the calves a sharp kick and that usually stopped them.”

Me: “So by extension I could give Dominic a smack on his little bottom when he yanks on me?”

Mike: “You’d be well within your mammalian rights.”

P.S. I relayed this conversation to my own mother this morning and she’s of the opinion that Dominic is still too young to connect his nipple-yanking behaviour with any bovinesque chastisement I might dish out. I’m not so sure, though. He’s clearly old enough to understand the concept of playing with his food.

P.P.S. I relayed this conversation to the community health nurse this afternoon and she just laughed. When I followed it up by asking whether he could be doing this because he’s still hungry at the end of his feed she laughed even harder. “That little guy’s gained over 300g for the second week in a row,” she said. “He has no right to still be hungry at the end of a feed. He’s just being demanding.”

Dominic: "What? Me? Play with my food?"

Related posts:

The rat has left the room
Are you serious?
A three year "anniversary" in Bumrungrad

18 Comments

  1. Lisa – that is just sooo funny! Wow – Dominic is already showing that he can be head-strong…so soon!

    • Mum would say it serves me right, to get a headstrong baby.

  2. L would take her finger and flick one of the boys hard on the cheek when they mistreated her breast–at age 21, they seem to still love her, and when you have twins, I guess you can’t put up with too much nonsense… I must say, it did seem to extinguish the behavior and I don’t even remember them crying!

    • Thanks! I’ve been trying this the last couple of days. So far I don’t think it’s making a huge difference, but I’m also determined, so we’ll persevere.

  3. Sounds like a pretty normally determined McKay child you have there Lisa! 🙂

    If it gives you a laugh my OB is also a dairy farmer 😀

    • Lots of lessons to be learned from cows, it sounds like.

  4. Lisa, that’s GREAT! THe joys of breastfeeding. Least there aren’t teeth yet too, that’s even more fun.

    • Oh, gosh, when I reread this today to answer it I remembered that I dreamed he had a huge mouth full of teeth last night. How weird. Hope you’re well Heidi.

  5. I remember that too! Anna used to muck around at the breast at the end of the feed, the cheeky little so-and-so. I gave her 2 strikes and she was off. Muck around on one side, I swapped to the other, muck around on the second side and she was off. She complained, yes- but that just made her get down to business properly on the next feed. I was in enough pain with Reynauds to her to be adding to my pain!!
    Sounds like you’re doing really well with the feeding Lisa with Dominic’s great weight gains- hurrah! I hope he stops the cheekiness soon 🙂

    • I need to google Reynauds, though it doesn’t sound like it’s much fun. I hope he stops the cheekiness soon, too.

  6. I distinctly remember yelling” oh come ON!” Really loudly and then just pulling T away when he did that. I think it startled me, T and Patrick that i said it so loud. Will nipped a few times at 8mos followed by a sneaky smile, but he was well old enough to understand a stern no. Good job mom and dad and dominic….you’re doing all of it right! 🙂

    • Thanks, Danielle. Yeah, I’m starting early with the “no”. He’ll catch on soon enough I hope.

  7. This photo is so cute!

  8. I think I would cry or give my husband the silent treatment if he brought up anything related to cows while I was breastfeeding. 😛

    And yes, my son did that exact same thing. They are so funny.

    • Yes, I must say I was a bit taken aback the firs time the cows came up. I quite like it now though, usually good for a laugh. He still gets in trouble when he starts mentioning other animals though – like elephants 🙂

  9. it’s just the beginning, I tell you. there’s all sorts of antics in your breast-feeding future. Congratulations.

    PS – isn’t it just WEIRD that boobs can spray? They’re like mini shower heads.

    • Mine don’t spray!! Not yet, anyway. I guess they’re running more along the lines of the water pressure in Laos than the water pressure in Australia 🙂

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