Posts Tagged "fear"

Scary shadows in the valley of nadir

Posted by on Feb 19, 2014 in Mike's cancer journey | 14 comments

Scary shadows in the valley of nadir

It’s getting harder, folks. Mike himself would say that the first round of chemo had its share of awful moments, but overall it was easier than we’d expected. Well, the chemo honeymoon is over. We’re eight days, six chemo treatments, eleven bags of intravenous antibiotics, one $2000 injection to stimulate bone marrow regrowth, several doses of anti-emetics, and one feverish vomitty trip to the emergency room into chemo round two. The ugly week of nadir has arrived again, and (as you might expect with chemo) nadir is not something that gets easier over time. Each successive round of...

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When my child is sick: Missing the promise and illusion of safety

Posted by on Nov 19, 2012 in Life in Laos | 0 comments

When my child is sick: Missing the promise and illusion of safety

I’m blogging today on a new site I’ll be posting on once a month. aLifeOverseas is a space for honest reflection, conversation, and connection for missionaries and humanitarian workers living in foreign countries.  If you are living overseas currently, if you’re preparing to move internationally, or even if you are just interested in the world of missions and humanitarian aid workers, check out http://aLifeOverseas.com. And without further ado, my first post for aLifeOverseas. On Friday my fifteen-month old baby, Dominic, started running a fever for the first time in his life....

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Peace Like A River

Posted by on Jan 23, 2012 in Parenting | 34 comments

Peace Like A River

Two weeks after Dominic was born, Mike announced that he was going out for a bike ride. “Just a 50km loop,” he said. “I’ll be back within two hours.” I nodded and told him to have a good ride, but that wasn’t what I wanted to do. I wanted to cry. I wanted to clutch him and beg him not to go. I wanted to demand that he tell me how I would survive if a car hit him – which happens to cyclists all the time, you know – while he was being so irresponsible as to be out riding for fun. Fun. What was he thinking to be indulging in something so very dangerous and call it fun? I had...

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On Peace and Quiet

Posted by on Jan 6, 2012 in Parenting | 8 comments

On Peace and Quiet

When I think of the word peace, I always think next of the word quiet. I’ve always been someone who is extraordinarily sensitive to sound. As a student I would find myself distracted by the rhythmic clicking of a pen all the way over the other side of the lecture theater. Even now, any tapping or drumming of fingers tends to draw my attention with all the constant compulsion that magnets offer iron. Out in public I must sometimes make a conscious effort to maintain eye contact with the person I am speaking with, or I will find myself glancing around, restless as a sparrow, monitoring the...

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When fantasy diverges from reality: Adventures with dolphins and babies

Posted by on Jun 24, 2011 in Travel | 9 comments

When fantasy diverges from reality: Adventures with dolphins and babies

Almost two and a half years ago now, Mike and I were driving towards Akaroa in New Zealand. It was the second last day of our honeymoon. We were on our way to swim with dolphins, and I was grumpy. I’m not sure when the grumpy started. Possibly when I woke up and it was rainy and cold. Possibly when Mike asked me in the car what I was particularly looking forward to about swimming with the dolphins – something I’d wanted to do for at least a decade.  “I don’t know,” I said. “I just want to see them up close, and swim with an animal that’s as big as me, and pet...

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Back at Home are Mike and I: Jottings on art, parenthood, and home

Posted by on Mar 22, 2011 in Posts with photos, Writing | 12 comments

Back at Home are Mike and I: Jottings on art, parenthood, and home

Well, we’re back from Thailand and we hit the ground running this week. Although, after a full week of looking at this on Koh Tao… And this on Koh Samui… And strolling through resorts… And buying satay off the beach… And dining in lovely seaside restaurants as the full moon rises over the ocean… Well… let’s just say I wouldn’t expect any sympathy from anyone if I tried to complain that we’ve had some re-entry shock with getting back to work. So I shall just say that we’re well and truly back at work. Mike returned to scores of...

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When criticism collides with fear

Posted by on Sep 2, 2010 in Writing | 36 comments

When criticism collides with fear

As everyone who’s read the previous post knows, we didn’t have the greatest start to the week over here. So I wrote about that in all it’s “ugly day-ness”, and I wrote about myself and my “not the finest display of coping with frustration that I’ve ever put forth”. I received more than a few comments on that post – many of which warmed my heart and made me smile, and one that didn’t. It’s all caused me to think a lot about my reactions to compliments and criticism this last day and a half, and I’ve decided that something I am giving this much time on my mental airwaves...

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