Alex is 2.5 weeks old today. What have the last two weeks looked like? Well … we’ve all been in new baby heaven. Everything smells like talcum powder and fresh milk. We take turns cooing over his plump little cheeks and blue eyes and soaking in his adorableness. We tell Dominic to kiss the baby for the sheer pleasure of watching how gently he touches his brother. We wish Alex would spend more time awake, looking at us. It’s been bliss.
We spend most of the time lounging around on picnic blankets in the sunshine looking like this … 
Or, rather, it’s been like that for, oh, ten minutes here and there. And the rest of the time …
I’ve spent 144 hours (give or take a few) breastfeeding. I’ve spent significantly less than that number of hours asleep. Breastfeeding has been (and I don’t use this word lightly) agonizing.
Alex has spent a good number of hours writhing and crying because of gas pains. I’ve systematically started to cut things like muesli, chocolate, and nuts out of my diet. I’ve rediscovered that sincerely frantic parental prayer that goes something like this: “Please, please, please, let him stay asleep. I’m not sure I have it in me to get up again and pick him up. God? You listening? I know this isn’t really hugely important in the grand global scheme of things, but it is really all I want right now in the whole wide world and that should count for something, right?”
On an intellectual level I know there’s something deeply flawed with that theology, but, well, I’m not exactly operating on an intellectual level at the moment. At all.
What else? I’ve had a crash course in how much less weight parental commands to your two year old seem to carry when you’re anchored to the couch with a small being attached to your body. Dominic has developed an affinity for all the things he knows he’s not supposed to touch – the fireplace, the television, the remote controls, etc. The fact that he’ll take himself to the naughty corner sometimes after committing the transgression is moot, because he just sits there with a little smile on his face looking rather smug.
And whenever I think forward I wonder how on earth I’ll manage the two of them back in Laos without my parents around, especially when Mike has to travel. Then I start to feel a bit pissy about how I’ve got the short end of the biological stick when it comes to this whole parenting gig, and fantasize about living with my parents full time for the next three years.
Mike doesn’t seem to think that’s a good idea, incidentally.
Neither do my parents.
I feel that I am not my best version of myself when parenting a newborn. Or, actually, when parenting at all – especially when I’m parenting solo for more than 47.5 minutes at a time. I have no idea how this knowledge can co-exist with a firm assurance that I would never choose to undo the existence of my two little boys and I love them more than I ever thought possible, but it does. It’s all very confusing, exhilarating, amazing, upsetting, and exhausting in about equal measure.
No, scratch that. It’s definitely more exhausting than anything else right now.
And these, these are the early days.
18 comments
Hi Lisa – a very late congratulations on Alex’s arrival. He’s gorgeous. Just thought I’d mention that I had a very windy baby and Marina mixture turned out to be the answer to my prayers. I *think* (ie. check it to be sure) that it can be used from birth.Good luck – and enjoy those wonderful little moments.
You’re the 2nd person who has mentioned this. I’ll check it out. Hope you’re well!!
Well said, Lisa. Will pray that Alex will get through all that early fussy stuff and become a great sleeper in the long run.
Thanks Brea!
I know you probably know this, but it will get so much easier. I have a 3.5 yr old and an almost 2 yo and as challenging as they are, it’s night and day from the newborn season. Before you know it yours will be best buds playing together and all their routines will coincide and they’ll function like a unit instead of being in two wildly different ages and stages.
The first year was wildly difficult, but I found the 18 month mark (for the youngest) was when everything kind of clicked and they fell into formation, so to speak. And now it is WAY easier having two because they play together and entertain each other, as opposed to having one child who has no one else to fall back on but Mom!
Whew, that was a lot. Sorry. I just found that adjustment really difficult but I couldn’t believe how much easier it got and how quickly! Having them close together is really hard at first but it is so worth it.
Thanks Anna … I can see how the 18 month mark might start to feel easier. CAN NOT WAIT.
Isabelle was a very upset, windy baby. It turned out she was intolerant to dairy and soy. I had to go off them while breast feeding, and it took about two weeks for her to be’normal’ after I had stopped eating/drinking it. I hope little Alex comes good and you can get the well rested sleep you deserve.
Hmmmm… dairy and soy again. Thanks Jess, I’ll keep it in mind.
So what you’re saying is you’re a pretty normal mom of a newborn 🙂
Oh I don’t know. Some of them seem to manage more than ten minutes of smiles at a time.
Ditto the soy and all things dairy, including casein and soy lecithin in crackers, breads, cereals and granola bars….even in salami! Took two weeks for it to get out of Wlls system, but once it did, miracles. Huge difference! And I fund I enjoyed chocolate coconut milk ice cream maybe even MORE than regular ice cream! 🙂
Hmmmm, I could do chocolate coconut milk ice cream, except I don’t think you can get it here :). I’ll keep that in mind about soy and dairy. Sigh.
Fundamental Health Foods in Lismore sell chocolate coconut milk ice cream 🙂
Ooooh, thanks. I’ll check that out.
Oh you poor possum! Its just hellish when you’re truly desperately sleep
deprived. Torture. Isaac is 6 months now and Hannah is 3 and I still
wish I lived w my parents most days! Isaac had rotten wind for about
3 months and I googled “foods to avoid while breastfeeding” and found a list
by a midwife in Sydney. It was gold for both my kids. Citrus, broccoli, cabbage caffeine. I lived by it for 3 months then gradually went back to normal. Plus there’s medicine at the pharmacy which gets all the burp air to come up in one blob which helped us too. Infacol. Worth a try? I’m SURE you’ll find a way to cope back home, my trick is to lower my expectations a whole lot and let us all watch way more tv than I ever thought possible. And try to take it minute by minute. And get outside as much as possible (where the housework can’t see me).
LOVE the fact that you mentioned TV. So many mama’s pretend they never use the one eyed babysitter. And, really, PlaySchool is a godsend when you need to sit down and feed. And the minute by minute thing. Go honesty! Thanks Esther.
Hi, Lisa, Let me know when you get to Laos. We can figure out a time I can “practice” being a grandma. In other words, I can love on your kids! And you too!
Marla
Thanks Marla. I’m sure we’ll be taking you up on that! Look forward to seeing you.
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