It’s baby bath time. I’m sitting on the toilet lid. Mike is perched on a small stool. Dominic is sitting in his little plastic tub, playing. As Mike and I are chatting, Dominic tries to squeeze water out of his toy duck, fails, and lets out a sudden, shrill screech of rage and frustration that is loud enough to be heard in China.
Me: “Dominic!! Really! Totally unnecessary.”
Mike: “Dominic, every time you make that sound you take ten minutes off your mama’s life because she thinks you’re being eaten by vultures. You’re right here, she can see you, and it still makes her think you’re in mortal peril. She can’t help it. Your birth rewired her brain and now it’s a mama brain. So don’t make that sound.”
Me: “That’s so true about the rewiring. Remember when you were in hospital for staph two years ago, before Dominic was born? We went to look at all the babies in the nursery? I was, like:”
“Oh, aren’t they cute. That one’s sleeping, and that one’s crying, and that one’s nose is all squished up, and that one is really screaming. Wow. What a set of lungs.”
“Well when you were in surgery a couple of months ago I took Dominic down to look in nursery, because there’s only so much to do when you have an eight hour wait and a baby to entertain. This time I saw all those babies and I was, like:”
“Awwww, look how tiny they are! Was Dominic ever that small? Look how peaceful they look when they’re asleep. Wait a minute … that one’s crying. That baby is crying. It’s crying! It’s crying and upset and scared and no one is doing anything about it! Why is no one coming to comfort that baby???? Where are the nurses? Why are these tiny little babies even IN a nursery?? WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL SOMEONE PICK UP THAT BABY????”
Mike (nodding thoughtfully): “How about this, then. From now on, whenever you see your clothes lying on the floor I want you to think of them as little babies, lying there scared and alone and crying to be put back where they belong.”
4 comments
Now I feel better about a sentence I wrote that didn’t go over so well: “This was part of the internal mothering map she had discovered when Mia was born.” I thought it fit so well in a paragraph where the mother realized she wasn’t being purely logical, but really was in terms of being a mom.
I added a bit more when it hadn’t been understood, but I get the impression that women without children (and many men, because their fathering maps tend to say different things) will find the phrase odd until they do.
My baby is twenty-six and I’ve been fighting “mama brain” since she was out of her teens, just to keep her happy. But it can’t be conquered, so I smile a lot and hold my tongue. 🙂
Yea, I figured I was in for a long ride with some of these changes. As in, they’re permanent. Hope you’re well.
Ah ha ha ha! Clothes on the floor crying like little babies! Mike cracks me up. I think Honey wants me to think of our whole house as a neglected baby. 😉
Yeah, when we move away from the land of the lovely housekeeper we’ll be having more conversations like this, I’m sure.
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